Mission 1: Health

My first mission, if you will, for myself is to tackle this 120lb monkey on my back.  It's no secret to anyone that knows me, I have struggled with weight my entire life.  I was a size 16 in 8th grade despite being active in sports.  I still have my weight watchers card from 1987 where I was a robust 187 pounds.

I have given it a good run in my life.  I don't have any doubts about the effort that I have put into losing weight, over and over and over again. I decided to explore other options late last summer and put those thoughts into action at the beginning of this year by having weight loss surgery.

The weeks and months leading up to the surgery have been a bit of a blur.  So much has been going on with work that I truly haven't had a moment to think about the effects this change would relly have on my life.  I just knew that it was going to be great.

When they called me to actually schedule the surgery, there was this weird moment when I didn't want to commit.  The nurse asked me, "Have you thought about when you owuld like to have surgery?" To which I didn't have an aswer.  I knew that I wanted it, but the reality was a bit more intimidating than I expected.  There was a second where I was going to ask her if I could call her back....  but I knew that there was no reason to not schedule right away. 

"How about March, 25th?" The words rang in my ears like the first chirps of a bird in the dawn of spring.  "Yes, how about the 25th"?  Although it was still nearly 2 1/2 wks away, it felt as if I were going in tomorrow.  Then came the aprehension.  Was I really making the right choice?  Had I really given it my all in trying to accomplish this naturally prior to resorting to such "drastic measures"?

The Friday prior to surgery brought a whole new set of concerns when I realized, "This is my last 'normal' Friday" and that it could quite possibly be my last period.  The risk of death for surgery is really pretty miniscule, but I couldn't help thinking about how that would affect Chad and Justin.  Their whole lives would be torn apart.  Was I being selfish and putting myself at a greater risk than necessary? 

Jitters:  nervousness; a feeling of fright or uneasiness

I was getting cold feet.  There is one thing that has been a constant in my life and that is that I trust myself.  I know that I made the decision with the best information at hand and that at the time the decision was made, it was the right one.  This has always allowed me to avoid the second guessing and the guilt that comes along with, "Did I do the right thing?".  Yes, I had made the right decision and I will follow through with that decision.

Skinny jeans, here I come!