Eeyore infection

"That Accounts for a Good Deal," said Eeyore gloomily. "It Explains Everything. No Wonder."

"You must have left it somewhere," said Winnie the Pooh.

"Somebody must have taken it," said Eeyore. "How Like Them," he added, after a long silence.

I am just not feeling it today.  I am feeling down and bothered; annoyed and overwhelmed.  The cause: work and home.  I just want to sit down and cry.  Perhaps I need to just let it out.  Maybe then some of the pressure will have released.

Work:  There is always so much to do and never enough time to get it done.  I have so many projects on my plate, none of which I can fully give to anyone else.  So I just muddle through it.  Everything eventually gets done and done well, so I can always take comfort in that, but sometimes I can't help but feel like things must be slipping through the cracks.  Plus, I am not willing to spend hours on end of my time working on things to stay on top.  IMHO, if I can't get it done in the 45 hours I already work a week...  then there is too much work.  However, this attitude doesn't keep me from feeling overwhelmed at times, like today.

Home:  Chad's girls are coming from St. George this weekend, the youngest of whom is going to stay with us for 2 weeks.  There has been an incredible amount of conflict in these relationships over the past 3 years.  It is a Jerry Springer show or a greek tragedy depending on your cultural preference.  Honestly, I should write a book aout everything that has happened with my husband's family but alas, I digress.

The oldest daughter, Amanda, is in this phase where she has decided that I am the symbol and cause of everything evil and wrong in her life.  She has made some questionable choices with her life the last few years and while I know that my job as a step mom is to just be there for her and now that she is nearly 19, be her friend.  The trouble with that idea is that I can't and don't trust her enough to even begin to explore a friendship with her. I can barely look at her, with her nose and lip piercings, without being reminded that when she lived with us, she was a good kid but due to the damage that others inflicted upon our credibility as parents, she was given the option to choose to be defiant.  Interestingly, I still get blamed for all of it.  The wicked stepmother paradox.  Yes, indeed, I am wicked if trying to raise a child to make responsible choices is out of line. 

The emotion I feel is not all her doing. Her inevitable snubbing just serves as a painful reminder of all of the other damage and pain that came along with events preceeding my extrication from Chad's family.

Well.....  enough of that for now.  I am on a break from work and can't go back in with mascara streaks.  I feel a bit better.  Thanks for listening.

3.5714285714285716 Stones

Today I have officially passed the 50 pound mark since surgery!  Yay!!!  This morning I weighed in at 231 after a two hard fought weeks prior.  Although, when I say things like that my husband kindly reminds me that a hard fought week for me with 2 pounds lost is still a pretty decent week for the rest of the world.  :)

Some other interesting facts about the number 50:

• Fifty is the smallest number that is the sum of two non-zero square numbers in two distinct ways:
• 50 = 1² + 7²  and  5² + 5². 
• It is also the sum of three squares, 50 = 3² + 4² + 5².
It is the fifth magic number in nuclear physics
The 50th Congress was in session prior to Utah becoming a state and John T. Caine (D) served for the Utah Territory.
The 50th State is, as you probably already know, Hawaii (August 21st 1959)
In the United States, one can receive a greeting from the President for any wedding anniversary on or after the 50th.
Lastly, if you hadn't guessed by now, 50 pounds equals 3.5714285714285716 Stones

^{Have a great day everyone!!}

Gonna' Get Dirty!

I found out about the MS mud run last night and decided that while it might kill me, I should try it anyway. There is just something about running through mud puddles and rallying through obstacles that takes the seriousness out of running and I am all about that.

I used to joke that I would only run if a bear was chasing me and while that still may hold true for a while, I figure I should at least try something close to it. I have been using my busy schedule as a weak exercise avoidance technique. It is time to wipe the slate clean and get moving. I have a mere two months to prepare so I must get started.

There is no better motivation than the promise of gettin' dirty! Bring it on!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Aha moment sponsored by: the letter H for hole

In the middle of the work day yesterday, I discovered that my jeans were a little more breezy than usual. Apparently the seam just below my zipper was weak and sometime between the last time I wore them (4 years ago) and today, it decided to give up the fight.

There I was in the middle of the work day, smack in the midst of training a group of new employees with a hole in the nether regions of my pants. Discovered after a midday trip to the restroom, I could only hope that no one had noticed the flash of white that was staring back at me in the mirror. At that point there was nothing to do but pull my shirt down and bravely face the music.

Like anyone in my predicament would do, I found a way to cleverly conceal the evidence that was vaguely reminiscent of a scene in Austin Powers. Knowing that my pant situation is in dire need of a boost, after work I headed straight to the nearest Lane Bryant. There in the quiet of my dressing room, the silence was suddenly broken when I exclaimed after discovering that every pair of 18's fit. Unbelievable.

Now it isn't uncommon for LB to have clothes that run a bit on the larger size. After I practically ran to the counter and tossed them the $20 for my new found treasure (yay for clearance!) I high-tailed it to Kohls to test my theory.  To my surprise and delight, all the 18's fit there as well. I also discovered in that short shopping trip, that I was no longer a target customer for LB's shirt selection given than the two 14/16 shirts were drowning me. Interestingly enough, the two XL's from Kohls were also showing signs of ill fitment. Yay!

The second picture is of a pair of 16's that I took into the dressing room with me to test how far off I was from that mark. Apparently, not far! :). Granted, they had a higher degree of spandex in the blend, but I got them up, buttoned, zipped and they don't look half bad to boot!

It is just amazing to me how much and how fast things have changed. Nearly 60 pounds since the first of the year, 50 since surgery and I have already hit 42% of my weight loss goal. May be 170 wasn't ambitious enough?

Man this process is full of surprises and great moments!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry