I thought I would share another picture with you this evening before I head off into the land of dreams...  which by all accounts is very different than the "Field of Dreams".  Although there are some similarities that might be explored more intently at a later date with respect to, "If you build it, he will come".  In my dreams, I have, on a rare occassion, built an entire fantasy around a real southern charmer turned beach fitness extraordinaire, Matthew McConaughey himself.  But alas, I digress....

It was after this day had ended that I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I looked over my shoulder while I was getting undressed and I decided that my reward when I get to my goal weight of 170, I am going to get boudoir pics taken.  Yes, I said it and I mean it.  But allow me to clarify....  I mean classy ones, in black and white, simplistic art with nothing private showing.  If you remember the scene between Helen Hunt and Greg Kinnear in "As Good as it Gets" where he begins to draw a picture of her as she fills the bathtub in her towel...  classy, timeless, and just for me to know how incredibly gorgeous I am and to serve as a reminder to NEVER, ever forget it again.

Find your bliss ladies, and live it.  Love yourself and don't ever forget that you are gorgeous right now as you are.

Sale! Pants- Half Off!

This picture is courtesy of an idea that I got from one of my very skinny friends:

I got a new pair of jeans on Friday and am still trying to wrap my head around the sizing. When I told my friend Maria that I had purchased my first entire outfit from the Buckle, she inquired about the size and we freaked each other out a little. My jeans are a 31, which apparently equates to an 11/12 or something like that.

She was completely astonished because she thought she wore a 30 (as it turns out, she wears a 29) and she was so excited that I was so close in size. Yet, I found myself making excuses for the size and downplaying how truly incredible it is. "Well, they are pretty tight right now...." "Yeah, but they are an eased fit..." "Well, they have stretch to them...." Etc etc.

So yesterday, as I was looking with disbelief at the jeans as they laid on the bed, I tried to visualize my body fitting in them in an attempt to come to grips with the fact that I am getting pretty thin now. Since I wore a size 14 in Jr. High, I simply cannot see myself as I am right now. My mind is stuck at a size 18 which is the thinnest I ever was as an adult.

I know it might sound weird, but I simply cannot fathom that I am only 2-3 sizes larger than my friends. That has NEVER been the case. I was always the token fat chick in the group. The one that couldn't ever trade clothes or steal the attention of the guys. That has been my role throughout my 37 years and it's going to be a hard thinking pattern to change.

In an effort to solidify the message to my brain about how much I have changed, I compared the old jeans to the new ones by laying the new ones next to the old. Unfortunately, the comparison wasn't strong enough so I decided to take it to the next level by putting the old pants on........ And I got into one leg of them!

I still can't fathom the scope of the change (perhaps it's because everything is floppy, and loose) but, I am working through it....

.......One leg at a time. BwaHahahahahahaha


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Aha moment sponsored by: the letter H for hole

In the middle of the work day yesterday, I discovered that my jeans were a little more breezy than usual. Apparently the seam just below my zipper was weak and sometime between the last time I wore them (4 years ago) and today, it decided to give up the fight.

There I was in the middle of the work day, smack in the midst of training a group of new employees with a hole in the nether regions of my pants. Discovered after a midday trip to the restroom, I could only hope that no one had noticed the flash of white that was staring back at me in the mirror. At that point there was nothing to do but pull my shirt down and bravely face the music.

Like anyone in my predicament would do, I found a way to cleverly conceal the evidence that was vaguely reminiscent of a scene in Austin Powers. Knowing that my pant situation is in dire need of a boost, after work I headed straight to the nearest Lane Bryant. There in the quiet of my dressing room, the silence was suddenly broken when I exclaimed after discovering that every pair of 18's fit. Unbelievable.

Now it isn't uncommon for LB to have clothes that run a bit on the larger size. After I practically ran to the counter and tossed them the $20 for my new found treasure (yay for clearance!) I high-tailed it to Kohls to test my theory.  To my surprise and delight, all the 18's fit there as well. I also discovered in that short shopping trip, that I was no longer a target customer for LB's shirt selection given than the two 14/16 shirts were drowning me. Interestingly enough, the two XL's from Kohls were also showing signs of ill fitment. Yay!

The second picture is of a pair of 16's that I took into the dressing room with me to test how far off I was from that mark. Apparently, not far! :). Granted, they had a higher degree of spandex in the blend, but I got them up, buttoned, zipped and they don't look half bad to boot!

It is just amazing to me how much and how fast things have changed. Nearly 60 pounds since the first of the year, 50 since surgery and I have already hit 42% of my weight loss goal. May be 170 wasn't ambitious enough?

Man this process is full of surprises and great moments!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry