I thought I would share another picture with you this evening before I head off into the land of dreams...  which by all accounts is very different than the "Field of Dreams".  Although there are some similarities that might be explored more intently at a later date with respect to, "If you build it, he will come".  In my dreams, I have, on a rare occassion, built an entire fantasy around a real southern charmer turned beach fitness extraordinaire, Matthew McConaughey himself.  But alas, I digress....

It was after this day had ended that I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I looked over my shoulder while I was getting undressed and I decided that my reward when I get to my goal weight of 170, I am going to get boudoir pics taken.  Yes, I said it and I mean it.  But allow me to clarify....  I mean classy ones, in black and white, simplistic art with nothing private showing.  If you remember the scene between Helen Hunt and Greg Kinnear in "As Good as it Gets" where he begins to draw a picture of her as she fills the bathtub in her towel...  classy, timeless, and just for me to know how incredibly gorgeous I am and to serve as a reminder to NEVER, ever forget it again.

Find your bliss ladies, and live it.  Love yourself and don't ever forget that you are gorgeous right now as you are.

Sale! Pants- Half Off!

This picture is courtesy of an idea that I got from one of my very skinny friends:

I got a new pair of jeans on Friday and am still trying to wrap my head around the sizing. When I told my friend Maria that I had purchased my first entire outfit from the Buckle, she inquired about the size and we freaked each other out a little. My jeans are a 31, which apparently equates to an 11/12 or something like that.

She was completely astonished because she thought she wore a 30 (as it turns out, she wears a 29) and she was so excited that I was so close in size. Yet, I found myself making excuses for the size and downplaying how truly incredible it is. "Well, they are pretty tight right now...." "Yeah, but they are an eased fit..." "Well, they have stretch to them...." Etc etc.

So yesterday, as I was looking with disbelief at the jeans as they laid on the bed, I tried to visualize my body fitting in them in an attempt to come to grips with the fact that I am getting pretty thin now. Since I wore a size 14 in Jr. High, I simply cannot see myself as I am right now. My mind is stuck at a size 18 which is the thinnest I ever was as an adult.

I know it might sound weird, but I simply cannot fathom that I am only 2-3 sizes larger than my friends. That has NEVER been the case. I was always the token fat chick in the group. The one that couldn't ever trade clothes or steal the attention of the guys. That has been my role throughout my 37 years and it's going to be a hard thinking pattern to change.

In an effort to solidify the message to my brain about how much I have changed, I compared the old jeans to the new ones by laying the new ones next to the old. Unfortunately, the comparison wasn't strong enough so I decided to take it to the next level by putting the old pants on........ And I got into one leg of them!

I still can't fathom the scope of the change (perhaps it's because everything is floppy, and loose) but, I am working through it....

.......One leg at a time. BwaHahahahahahaha


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

"Cheap cheap" said the wee little chick

I don't know if I should consider it fortunate or not, but to this point, I haven't really had to buy much to wear even though I have gone from a 26 to a 20 in pants.  Sure, things have been limited but, nevertheless, I still have pants to wear for a few more sizes.  Bras and shirts are an entirely different story however.  Over the years of skinny times, I have saved a few shirts, but during that time I wasn't a working professional and 90%of them were T-shirts most of which, look terrible anyway.  So brings me to the point of my story.

I have needed to add to my wardrobe in the last week or so and overcoming my frugal nature has been a significant challenge. Scouring the clearance aisles has been little to no help since winter has come and gone and the spring clearance is on clearance for good reason.  I cringe at the price of new clothes knowing that they will only fit well for three to four weeks max.

Underclothes have only added to the frustration.  I can no longer tolerate my underwear because they have become extreme exhibitionists.  They feel the need to flash the world by creeping too high up my backside and popping out of the top of my pants at all times; constantly reminding me of the Ray Stevens song, "It's Me Again Margaret!"  Shameful suckers they have become.  Consequently, they must to go, along with the brasier that is suddenly swallowing my girls like a king cobra swallowing a bunny.  $36.00 for a bra?  Sigh.   If only the girls would stand-up on their own.  Maybe one day.... and 5k later.

I haven't exhausted all of the shopping options.  I still have Old Navy (which provided me with 2 Polos for $12 two weeks ago), Sears, Target and Kohls and if necessary, Wal-Mart. I am just not looking forward to the day when my clothes well runs dry and I am not at my final destination, but it is coming.  Paradoxically, faster and slower than I want it to.