Bunnies are Evil

Easter is the first holiday I have encountered so far and I have come to the conclusion that bunnies are evil.... along with Cadbury, Hersheys, and every other chocolate maker out there.

And that is all.
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A Dual Fortnight

One month already?? Wow. I can't believe that one month ago today my life changed forever. In some ways it seems like it was just yesterday, but oddly enough, it seems as though it is quickly becoming a memory of old.

I feel comfortable in the fact that my meals are minuscule. It doesn't seem odd to me anymore. In fact, I think about what I used to eat and laugh at myself for being delusional in thinking that I wasn't eating too much. As an example, last night I had an appointment directly after work and needed to grab something for dinner on the way home. To that end, I stopped by Chick-Fil-A for "some" chicken strips.

Normally, I would have gotten the 3 piece strips with the fries and devoured every last morsel. Last night, however, half of one strip was enough. A meal that I used to eat at one sitting, would now last me a minimum of 8. I can't help but think, had I just cut everything in half prior to surgery....... Hmmmmm. Well, no point in that thought.

I am happy with my decision. In fact, I am not shy about telling anyone. I am proud of myself for finally having the courage to change my life in the most powerful way and face success head-on. I can finally say, that I am empowered and my outside appearance will reflect what I have always felt inside. One month down, the rest of my life to go!
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I owe, I owe, so off to work... I went

I have the most amazing life!!!  Last week, I visited a little village just outside of Paris for the day and dined at the most exquisite restaurant.  It is a little known cafe just off of Rue de Paradiso.  I wish you could have been with me to see the variety of petite plates that they offered for brunch; Crespéou, Quiche Fromage, Gruyere Cheese Souffle, Orange-Walnut Bread French Toast and mini appetizers such as Goat Cheese truffles, Gougères (a bite size cheese puff), and my personal favorite, Roulade jambon chevre.

The weather was delightful.  There was just enough crispness to the air that morning to remind me that I should have brought my cardigan along. As I looked around at all the passers-by I was not surprised to see how many of them were also enjoying the weather.  The tune ever present in the air of birds chirping, and the aroma of  wildflowers and grass was natures way of saying, notice me.  It was a glorious morning and a much needed rest from the hustle and bustle of the city in the days before.  I also enjoyed being able to unwind and get into the correct mindset for my trip to The Dunmore on Harbour Island in 2 days.

*Snap back to reality*
Last week was my first week back to work.  A little bit crazy and a whole lot of fun.  I have to admit that I was missing work a bit.  Being at home was fun for a while, but working gives a girl a whole new sense of accomplishment.  I do love work....   well, I guess I am not being entirely truthful.  If I could find a way to get paid as much as I do with all my benefits, I am sure I could find plenty to fill my time without work getting in the way.  Getting right down to brass tacks, shopping is much more fun than analyzing data, creating reports, and reading hours of worthless email threads.

Oh well.  Affluent or not, I can still dream of pointless, random, and frequent travel to romantic, quaint and exotic locales.

Dream on Friends!

Weigh in Rule Change

While I have been obsessed with the lack of weight movement this last week, Chad helped me to realize that I need to stop weighing so much.  I have been a regular "weigher" for the bulk of my adult life.  Well, at least the last 10 years of it.  I weigh daily and it seems, I am going to have to change that practice.

Intead of spending the last week upset about the weight I didn't lose, I should have been happy about the weight I did lose the previous week.  Stepping on the scale every morning expecting to see change just to have it leave me standing at the altar, was not a great way to start my day.  So, with that in mind:

Behavior Change
I will only weigh once a week on picture day (Saturdays)

Plan for Success
Take the scale out of the bathroom and place it in the linen closet
Weigh-in's will be Saturday mornings, right before pictures

I am grateful for the 18lbs I have lost in the last 2 weeks and for the 30 I have lost from my heighest weight ever.  I am grateful that I had the strength to make the decision to have WLS and the fortitude to commit 100% to changing my life, permanently.  It was time to take the step.....  I did it, and am on my way to being the best me possible.

Food Fight

This weekend has been one of the most eye opening experiences yet.  With a work off-site meeting and my sister being in town, there has been a constant barrage of food messages coming at me.  Pizza on Thursday night, lunch out with my co-workers on Friday, family dinner on Friday and lunch with my grandma on Saturday.  Whew!!!  Boy am I tired of saying no.

The best part is now I also realize how empowering it is to finally feel like when I am saying no, it is going to get me somewhere.  That is the key difference.  Whenever I have been on a diet before, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I know that it will never work.  Sure, I hope that it will.  I hope that I will do better than last time.  I hope that this time, things will be different.  However, from deep within in the places we don't like to talk about at parties, I couldn't convince myself that I was actually going to be able to achieve it.

I still haven't figured out the "Why" behind all of that.  There are so many potential reasons that I held myself back.  In the interest of time, I have listed the ones that I can think of right now and as I build a better me, perhaps the list will grow and I will be able to figure out which one, or which combination "kept the woman down"....  well, up if we're talking weight.  ;)

• Fear of success
• Fear of failure
• Fear of the unknown
• Fear of attention
• Personal identity crisis
• Short term thinking
• All or nothing attitude
• Outlandish goals / timelines
• Under-developed coping mechanisms
• Lack of a solid rewards plan (other than food)

Thanks for reading and for your support!

New lessons in Arithmetic

How does one stay the exact same weight for 5 days when only consuming 130-150 calories a day???

Yes folks, 5 friggin' days of the exact same weight. That just doesn't make sense to me. My RMR is around 1900 calories a day on the very low end no matter which method you choose to calculate it (BSA, TBW or BF%). So even if those measly 150 calories was crap and I did nothing all day, the math works out that I'd have burned a minimum of 7600 calories in the last 4 full days. This, in turn, should have represented itself on the scale as 2.17 pounds. Yet, I continue to come to the scale with a big fat goose egg.

The fact is, it hasn't been crap. It's been at least 70% protein, I am deep into ketosis, have been drinking between 48 and 64 oz of water (yes, room for improvement) and finally, I certainly haven't just been lying around all day. The math my body is choosing to use right now is like statistics was for me in college... It doesn't make sense.

And yes, I'm whining in public and I don't care.
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Gross and gross-er

My husband and I couldn't decide which of these items was the most disturbing. I understand the concept of food storage, but cannot, for the life of me, figure out why I would want margarine after the apocalypse.

Ick
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Slowing Down

As you can see from my weight loss progress, things have slowed a bit.  I have now been at the same weight for 3 days....  and boy am I glad.  I was losing so much that I was absolutely exhausted.  I have been able to do my hair without the requisite breaks and walking up the stairs has not been a daunting task.

Confession:  I haven't been sticking as close to what I should be eating.  Don't go crazy on me now...  I am sticking to what is on my list of foods to eat, but I know from my life experience PhD in nutrition that the protein content isn't high enough.  One can't have yogurt for breakfast, tuna and peas for lunch and refried beans (from Rubio's) for dinner and not expect the carb/protein ratio to be out of balance. 

With the caloric intake I have right now, I will enevitably continue to lose weight, of that there is no doubt.  I do however, need to ensure to keep my protein levels high and carb levels low.  So, to that end, I make this promise to myself and to you:

This week, protein will be my primary form of nutrition once again.  I committ to eating less yogurt and more egg whites and less soup and more tuna or chicken.

Let's see how the week goes.  Surely this little lag in weight loss is my body's way of saving itself from certain destruction (16 pounds in a week...  sheesh, this isn't reality TV folks).  Let's see if we can go from a warp speed then stall method to a more pleasurable cruise control.

I was uhhh, medicated... Yeah, that's it.

Anyone will tell you that if I have made a mistake I'll suck it up and admit when I am wrong. Well, this is one of those times.

Apparently I shouldn't drink Pond scum sludge. Nearly instantaneous rumblings from the intestines and the pursuant nausea are not among the favorable effects of taking a vitamin. Since I am still in the phase of the program where my stomach is so small and picky, I am reluctant to choose a pill form. Add to that my recent run in's with Montezuma caused by the pond scum and one can see how I was forced into my current predicament.

I was quick to judge other types of vitamins; gummy vitamins to be specific. At the time of my first post I was quite judgemental in fact. Clearly, I hadn't considered all the possible reasons one may decide to use this as an option. One of the situations I didn't consider is that there are some people that can't swallow pills and the variety and availability of liquid versions leave a lot to be desired. However, one of the most important situations I never considered was that of a parent with an adult handicapped child. But, it was only 3 days after surgery, I was medicated and clearly not thinking straight.... Right? (Ok, sober moment, that doesn't feel good to write. Admitting that I could be that insensitive.... Ouch).

Well, all of this brings me to my point. I am sitting in the parking lot of Sam's Club after having purchased my first bottle of gummy vitamins. They aren't half bad and I hope for all of my repentance, they will absorb and keep me healthy long enough to offend many more times in my life. :)

After all, not everyone can get as much of a laugh as I do when my husband shudders and nearly wretches after drinking the liquidy goodness. :). The worse it tastes, the better it is for you right? Hahahahaha.
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Jessica, I don't care if it's chicken or fish if it tastes this good!

I don't think anyone who hasn't had WLS can appreciate "chicken of the sea" more than I did this afternoon.   Well, unless they have been banned to the outer Sahara desert for months....  then, perhaps they have a shot.  I was in heaven!  Each minuscule bite was just as good as the first.  Which is surprising because how can an animal as ugly as this, taste so spectacular?  Really, who cares.  Finally, some real protein. 

Hallelujah baby!

Good Morning!

I can't sleep. I've had strange dreams all night.... It was the egg, I just know it. Anyway, I'm hiding under the covers typing on my BlackBerry so as not to wake the snoring bear next to me. That being said, typos and grammatical errors are likely. :)

Yesterday I decided that I needed a little treat and since I am not up for a massage just yet, I thought I'd look to see what other spas were nearby. Google maps to the rescue. (Have I ever mentioned how much I adore Google?)  Elase Academy popped up and I was instantly curious. They are a educational spa that has full aesteticians programs as well as continuing ed for specific treatments such as eye lash extensions. Being a spa junkie at one point in my life, I knew that this place would fit the bill.... And the budget.

(To be continued..... The Bear has grumbled)

I don't think I am the type of girl that would wear eye lash extensions with the amount of flair they beg for, so for today, I will settle with getting my own tinted along with my eyebrows.  You see, very few people have been allowed to join "The Club" where one of the "benefits" is being able to see me without make-up on.  If we haven't gone swimming or camping together, chances are, you have no idea that without the magic of make-up, my eye lashes and brows are virtually invisible.

Today, that changes, if only for a few weeks.  I think of it as a time saving mechanism.  Less make-up application means, more time for other things (like doing my hair, lol).  The good news is that since I am having it done at the school, it'll be a mere $20 transformation and suddenly...  I won't have to don nuclear proof mascara to get in the water. I love having options.