God's Untimely Reminder

The death of a loved one always seems to bring us back to the reality that life is infinitely precious and we need to do a better job of using our moments more wisely.  Two weeks ago I was unfortunately reminded of this when a very dear friend of mine, Matt Lassen, suddenly passed away from cancer at the age of 42.  Matt was not just a friend, but he was also my first boyfriend. 

I wasn't much of a "dater" in high school, well, to be honest, I didn't date at all.  As a matter of fact, the only reason I got to go to prom with a date, was due to the break up of my two friends Frank and Roseanne.  Looking back on those years, I am glad that it was that way.  Your first love is always one that you will remember, but since I was in college at the time that I met Matt I was able to truly appreciate the relationship.  I have always held him very dear to my heart.  He once said that I was one of the most influential people in his life and that I helped him grown-up and I believe that he did the same for me.

I loved every minute that I was able to spend with him even though Matt wasn't the type of person that I could have made a life with.  He could be abrasive, cynical, intolerant and above all, argumentative, not unlike someone else I knew intimately at the time, (a.k.a. me).  He loved to question and debate ideas and in his mind, his opinion was right.  Unfortunately for him so were mine.  ;)  We had some fun ones, Matt and I.  I remember once, we debated for hours while sitting on the tailgate of his truck one summer night.  We had just finished watching Contact and were discussing what we would do if we were the POTUS and found out that Aliens were hovering right outside our atmosphere.  I think back on that night and wonder why it ended with us being mad at each other.  It was a silly debate that was purely speculation and opinion.  I suppose that is what happens when you are young and both people "know everything".

Matt was such a tender-hearted soul.  He was always concerned about those around him and was always the first one to think of everyone else.  He had a deep love of music and if you ask his family, this was a constant in his life from the time he was very young.  He was never able to teach me how to play the guitar, lest I forget the chord progression lessons, but I was more content to listen to him play.  He was always more than willing to share a tune with me and just a few years ago, sent a song to me that he had written and finished called swimming in your smile.  Unfortunately, I can't post it here since a virus wiped out our hard drive and I lost it along with all the other documents and pictures that were so important. as well.


Matt taught me so many things that I am proud to claim as personality traits now.  I am eternally thankful to him for the time we had together, I only wish that I could have said goodbye in person.